A Wedding Rings, Why Love for It?

Wedding RingPeople from different parts of the world have a love for wedding rings. The ring has become the one item that unites people from different backgrounds and religions. It is more like the uniform that brings together different tribes and religions. This is because these bands hold the same symbol of unity, love and commitment across the board. They serve as constant reminders of the vows made on the wedding day making it easier for couples to remain committed and working hard to nurture and nourish their relationship. Besides this very deep meaning of the wedding rings, there are other reasons why people love them.

They are stylish

Wedding rings are no longer limited to certain materials and designs. You can now find them in huge varieties of metals, stones and designs making them very stylish. You can choose a ring that makes you stand out even with the everyday wearing thanks to the options. Apart from sticking to the circular nature, you can now even have yours shaped to make it more unique and personal. If you are not into the traditional simplicity of the wedding bands, you can still retain the band meaning but make your band as stylish as you want. Fashion lovers simply love this about modern wedding rings.

They make personal statements

You can have your personality molded into the wedding ring. The freedom to choose which gemstones and metals that are used on the ring makes it all possible. Your band can speak volumes about your personality, making it easier for people to relate with you. You can actually be judged by the wedding ring that you wear and be classed in the same manner. For instance, gold and diamonds are believed to be for the rich high lifestyle individuals while silver is for the middle class.

They hold family values

This is of course one of the major functions of a metal bands designed for your wedding. People have their behaviors and talks evaluated in terms of family values. Wearing your wedding ring therefore can play a role in how people look at you and the respect they have for you. You are expected to be very mature and reasonable if you are wearing a ring compared to if you are not wearing any ring. Wearing it therefore keeps you in check and reminds you of what is expected of you.

They are a treasure

There is no single person who does not love to be loved and want to be wanted. Wearing your bands goes to prove this point and make many people fit into the society. Women light up upon receiving engagement rings and will flaunt them to their friends and family. Receiving a ring in the end completes them and makes them more acceptable and respected in the society making the rings a treasure for many. Truth is you can earn plenty of respect in different settings when wearing your wedding ring.

Top 4 Reason Why Family Is Important In Our Life

almklausi5Family is your blood and they are the people who accept you for who you are, who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. Family is one and only place where your life begins and love never ends. You may have lots of people in your life, but you won’t find a single person who care the most like your parents. Some of you may not agree with me, but this is the truth guys and one day you will realise this by your own. Actually most of us doesn’t know the importance of family and this is the article for you guys. Here I’m going to point out best 4 reason why family is important in your life.

Why Family Is Important?

Family make children future
Family is the only place where children study a lot after school. In school, teachers taught children about the subjects which will help them to find a good job in future. But in home, Family taught children about habits, discipline which not only help them to find a job but also help them to live a perfect life in future. So family is very important for kids. When babies come out from mother’s womb, they see their parents first and thereafter they spent most of the time with their family until go to school. During that 3 or 4 years is really important for babies to get to know some basic habits from parents, sisters or brothers. In fact during the first 3 years, your baby’s brain triples in weight and establishes about 1000 trillion nerve connection. So on that period they get to know many things from family. None of you going to teaches bad habits for your baby, I believe. Parents have to be careful in actions in front of their babies, because your baby learn habits and discipline from you only. This is one of the main reason why family is important in our life.

Family stay with you at any situation
This is one of the great advantage from family and none of us never realise this at any time. You may have lots of friends or relations or office mates. They will definitely be with you in your happy times or any successful achievements. But, your parents or sisters or brothers are the only one will stay with you in your hard and difficult times. Do you know what?, your mum and dad are the only one who understands you much more than any other people in the world. Because they are your creators and they are the only ones travelling with you from the beginning. So they understand your feelings and always there for you whenever you need someone abundantly. This is the power of family. There are many people can help you, but family will help you whenever you are alone.

Family make better society
A perfect family is the great example for the whole society. Father, Mother, children all of them have to work in order to build a perfect family. If any one of them failed then the whole family collapsed. This is happen very much now a days. The good name of the whole family ruined by a single member of the family. That is really sad but nothing to do for that. But if every family member work hard and build a optimal family then they are the good example of that whole society. Family impact very much in society and society impact very much in country. So an ideal country not only build by government but also each and every family member. So each family is the principal key of the society. This is why family is important in our life.

Family celebrates your happiness
This is another good reason why family is important in our life. This 20th century is not like 18th or 19th century world. Before people doesn’t care about rich or poor and they never worry about educated or uneducated. But this 20th century is different. People communicate each other with their standard. Jealousy is the cheapest thing which you can see everywhere in this world. If you are richer, or more educated, or beautiful, or handsome, or get promotions, or buy a costly car, or buy a house, people get envious on you. In short if you are happy then some people get jealous on you. But family is different and they encourage when you pass every steps. Moreover they celebrates with you in your every happy moments. Especially parents always looking forward your every advance steps. This is why family is important in your every steps.

Even though  there are many more reasons, these are the best reason why family is important in our life. You are not 100% without knowing the value of your family. So, hopefully this article may help you to realise the importance of your family. If you have any other ideas about ‘why family is important’, just share those in the comment box below which will help others too.

Avoid 10 Mistakes Dating For Women

almklausi2You have had one great date with this guy ( in your opinion), but he did not call you up the next day or day after or maybe not at all. You summon the courage to call him up. He gives you some excuse and promises to change. But still nothing from him and all of a sudden, you realize that something is wrong again(?). Yes, you are right, My dear, something is wrong somewhere. So let us examine some of the mistakes women make when dating guys…

1.) LOOKING FOR A FAIRY TALE RELATIONSHIP

No, you are not a fairy. And he ‘s not either. Besides, the world we live in is hardly utopia. So why are you looking for a fairy tale relationship? It is for fairyland. Okay? Do know that every relationship has its rough patches and you have to work at making it work. So setting out and believing it must be fairy tale things all the way is a NO, NO.

2.) A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP IS NOT EASY

If you think that a perfect relationship should be easy, then you are so wrong. You need to look out for things that can make it perfect and build on it. That is what makes relationship perfect – the amount of effort and hard work you are willing to put in to make it perfect.

3.) NOT TOO AVAILABLE, NOT TOO HARD TO GET

Do not make your self too available. But don’t be too hard to get. If you are too available, he would ride over you rough shod and you may not really count for much in his eyes at the end. Yeah, its okay to listen to him, to run when he calls, but don’t make it happen every time, figure out how to draw the line and stand on your own sometimes. At the same time, don’t play too hard to get, or else, he may think you are not interested and move on. Don’t forget you are not the only woman in town. A lot of women have lost what could have been a promising relationship by playing too hard to get.

4.) DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM ON FIRST DATE!

WHATEVER YOU DO, PLEASE RESPECT YOURSELF, even if he is the King of ‘Arabia’, don’t sleep with him on the first date, unless you just want to be a one night stand to him or something. If you are looking for a steady relationship, sleeping with him on first date is not a positive advantage. Yeah, if an awesome moment presents itself, you may yield to a goodnight kiss. But that’s where it should end. Good night and go to bed solo.

5.) LEAVE YOUR PAST BEHIND YOU

Of course, you may have told yourself many times over that all men are the same. But, have you ever asked yourself which of your past relationships have you not let go of. Perhaps, all of it. Please, let the past stay where it should be- the past. Each man is a peculiar being, be open to new things. If you know deep in your mind that you are not yet truly over your last relationship, don’t jump into another one. Take time to evacuate your mind, so that the ghost of the last one would not choke this one.

6.) LEAVE THE SUBJECT ‘SEX’ ALONE

You are not the only one who has sex on your mind. So relax and don’t mention it, even in passing, okay? Plenty of time to talk sex later. Just concentrate on getting the hang of him and the date first. However, a goodnight kiss is welcome, but when it is about to go farther, gently extricate yourself and firmly maintain that you don’t have sex on the first date. Not before, not earlier.

7.) MY DEAR, LOVE YOURSELF

Loving yourself is the greatest love of all. The question is, how can you appreciate someone else’s love and appreciation of you, if you don’t love yourself first. The tendency is for you to subconsciously fall into the wrong relationships if you do not love yourself.

8.) DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.

Don’t talk about your ex in whatever form, you may do that later or better still, never. The new guy wants to step into a clean and fresh relationship, and if I were him, am sure I DONT want to start by cleaning up someone else’s mess. So let the talk of your ex be a never thing – a bygone. Good riddance, if you please.

9.) BE REALISTIC IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Please, do not build a list of unrealistic expectations. And do not go picking faults with every guy that comes along. Understand that everyone comes with a fault or two. Meanwhile, you may do a checklist of what you can compromise in a man and what you can never take. However, when you do meet someone who sweeps you up your feet but does not meet your standard, be willing to give him a chance.

10.) BE PATIENT

Yes, you need to be patient. Love takes time to build and grow. So even if he makes you swoon from the first date, don’t tell him you love him yet. Or else, you’ll sound like the desperate or the type who clings on her man too much. So he’s likely to run away faster than you think. Instead, let him earn it. Let it grow and build up. Let it become an obvious thing to the extent that, as a matter of fact, it would be a wonderful idea for both of you to say it together, almost simultaneously.

How To Healing Your Broken Heart

Healing a broken heart is easier said than done. Why oh why is love so complicated and frustrating? Do you sometimes feel like your emotions are like a yo-yo, bouncing up and down? Maybe you are like some folks whose relationship is on a week to week basis. One week love fills the air and nothing seems impossible and the next week doubt about staying together dominates the heart and mind.

almklausi3The good news is that healing a broken heart has been done before. Your heart, as precious and special as it is, is not the first one to be broken. There is a heart-broken every minute of the day. There is also a heart mended every minute of the day. If your heart is broken, this may be your minute for it to be healed.

Healing A Broken Heart – Tip #1

Don’t Have A Pity Party – One sure way to keep your broken heart from healing is sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. There is nothing to be gained by spending day after day crying profusely wishing your relationship wasn’t broken. You will only make yourself miserable if you let pity rule your days and nights.

I’m not trying to be rude or insensitive. I know it hurts when love is lost. It’s not fun starting over and trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Right again. However, I can assure you that no-one will want to be around you if you are miserable. When you have a broken heart, you need to be able to be around others. This will help you get out of the broken heart doldrums.

It’s OK to have a short pity party but make it quick and drama free. Once the party is over you need to move on to the next phase of your recovery.

Healing A Broken Heart – Tip #2

Focus On Yourself – One of the quickest ways to fix a broken heart is to invest time in improving your life and the lives of others. There are times in your life when you have to make sure you are taking care of you. For starters, you need to make sure that you are eating properly and doing things that reduce stress.

With a broken heart you will feel a sense of emptiness. You can either take steps to fill the void or leave it empty. If your relationship was like most others you probably spent a lot of time together. You need to join a club, or perhaps donate your time to help others. You don’t have to go train to run a marathon. However, you shouldn’t be idle for hours, days or weeks on end. If your life is standing still when your heart is broken, healing will take much longer.

Healing A Broken Heart – Tip #3

The third and final tip for healing your broken heart is that you choose to get back the love of your life or decide to move on. There can be no happiness in the middle. If you decide that you want to revive or save a broken relationship, give it your all. Don’t dream about getting back together and take no action. If you sit on the sidelines and wait for your relationship to be healed, you will be broken hearted for a long time.

If you have had enough and your heart has moved on, let the relationship go. If it was meant to be, your paths will cross again.

Bring Back Your Marriage

almklausi4Is your marriage alive and well, or is it time to dial 911? Chances are the health of your relationship falls somewhere in the middle — slightly out of shape and tired. Unfortunately most of us tend to take the health of a marriage for granted. And we don’t realize how important a happy, healthy relationship is until it’s time for marital CPR.

Maintaining personal health requires work — exercise, good nutrition, rest and regular checkups. No one teaches us that the same kind of maintenance is also necessary in order to keep a marriage alive. Love between a parent and child is unconditional. Love between a husband and wife is not. As divorce statistics would indicate, an untended marriage falls apart too easily. The good news is that there are ways to make a marriage survive, and better yet, thrive.
Your Marital Diagnosis

There are warning signs or “symptoms” when your marriage is “under the weather.” Here are some key symptoms:

feelings of chronic resentment toward your spouse
lack of laughter between the two of you
desire to spend free time with someone other than your mate
too much time spent playing the “blame game”
conversations between you are laced with bitterness and sarcasm

Relationship Revival Program

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar? If so, it’s time to revive your marriage by following this program.

Make the marriage your priority, not an afterthought. Set aside regular time to be alone with your partner. If kids are in the picture, hunt for a “network” of trusted babysitters. If money is a concern, compare the cost of a night out with that of marital therapy or a divorce attorney! Get the drift? Start doing some of the things that used to bring you joy, and helped you to feel more connected. There are plenty of activities that you can do for free — a long walk, star gazing or window-shopping are all simple pleasures that can bring you closer together.

Resuscitate your romance. Remember how the sparks flew when you first met? It’s probably not too late to rekindle the embers. Surprise your spouse with a homemade Valentine (any day of the year!) and a bottle of champagne. Light up the bedroom with candles, or put a love note in his briefcase. Last but not least, initiate lovemaking. Passion is the glue in a marriage — it helps you feel close to your mate, and makes getting through rough times a lot easier.
Accept what you can’t change. Much marital strife is caused by the belief that you cannot be happy in your marriage as long as you must live with your partner’s bad habits or imperfections. Have you noticed that no matter how much you gripe and moan, these things don’t change? Rather than trying to control what you can’t, work around his quirks and focus on the positive. We all respond much better to praise than to criticism. And here’s the paradox: Sometimes when we stop fighting the way things are, they actually do change. No guarantees, but it’s worth a try.
Be attractive, inside and out. “Married” doesn’t have to mean complacent. Continue to learn and experience new things, and share these with your partner. Eat right, exercise, rest and make the most of your appearance. Doing these things is taking good care of yourself, but it’s also a way of showing your mate that you want to be your best and share yourself with him.
Improve communication and negotiation skills. Being a good listener is key to healthy communication. Even if you don’t agree with what he’s had to say, empathize with his position. This will open the door to more effective conflict resolution. If you must be critical, convert criticism into a request for behavioral change by stating it positively. Most important, apologize when you are wrong.

There are no marriages made in heaven. But by devoting time and energy to reviving your marriage, you’ll once again feel your relationship pulse beating strong and steady.

Endanger In Relationships

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” J.K. Rowling.

The act of compromise is one of the greatest sacrifices in a relationship. Having someone to share your tears and joys with, makes the compromise all worth while. However the concept of compromise has been stretched far beyond the truth.

Spouses or partner’s tend to get so busy and caught up with life that they forget that a relationship is the centerpiece around which everything else in our lives should revolve on.

Spouses tend to build up a fantasy world where by everything should be about them, their success, their personal lives and they expect their spouse to regard it as a compromise for love.

Save yourself the headache and heartache and recognize from the onset that this is a ONE SIDED relationship. For the sake of your present and future mental and physical well-being, such a relationship needs serious, emergency help and attention given to it, if it is to survive. How do you fix it?

1.) Get couples therapy- There is nothing better than having a 3rd opinion.

2.) Let your spouse or partner know where he/she is lapsing in.

3.) Make them understand that love is a give and take.

4.) Indifference and neglect- It’s understandable that your spouse or partner may have to work long hours per week, however make sure to avoid the act of indifference or neglect to your partner.

5.) No matter how little time you both have to spend with each other, make it special and memorable such that during those long hours work, such memories will keep a smile on your face and a boost in your confidence and self-esteem.

6.) Make each other understand your goals and dreams, which then enable your spouse to understand you better and even lend assistance and inspirations when needed.

7.) Learn to share- share your feelings with each other. Learn to communicate with each other.

We always hear regrets and pain in our grandparent’s voice, when they voice out their regrets for all the time wasted on trivial things instead of spending it with their partner or spouse. If they could give all the power, position and money they acquired in exchange for their spouse back, they would in a twinkle of an eye.

We should endeavour to never forget that our relationship with our intimate partner is the most important relationship in our lives. There will come a time in life when everything goes sideways, your partner or spouse will be what you are left standing with.

How To Raise Moral For Child – Part 4

LIMITATIONS OF LAW AND LOVE

Even with a good understanding of these principles, there are some traps to watch out for—some limitations in the human brain’s natural approach to both rule-following and empathy. “Empathy grounds morality, but morality goes beyond empathy,” Gopnik writes. “After all, crying yourself when someone else is hurt doesn’t actually help them any—sheer empathy can just be morally self-indulgent.”

This is one reason we need rules; they help us act on our empathy in ways that make a real difference. But following the rules mindlessly, without understanding their original purpose, is a potential pitfall. We can be quite proud of our conscientious attention to rules, but if a rule is unsound or has outlived its intent, we benefit no one, including ourselves. Then there’s the inborn tendency to limit our empathy to those in our own social groups. Multiple studies demonstrate that when you separate people into categories or groups, even by nothing more significant than t-shirt color, they will begin to identify with their own group and dehumanize those in the other group. Even babies categorize people this way. We have to be actively taught to extend our empathy beyond instinct—to erase the boundaries between “people who are like us” and “strangers.” But how?

Gopnik suggests that we can take a page from respected teachers of morality. “In the Bible,” she writes, “the injunction to ‘love thy neighbor’ is followed by the more difficult ‘love the stranger’ and finally the even more difficult ‘love thy enemy as thyself.’” This goes beyond the human genetic imprint: it may even seem impossible. But there are accompanying injunctions to “meditate” on the law (defined as a law of love), and recent research indicates that this is a very useful practice. (See “Big-M Morality.”)

Emotion researchers such as Richard J. Davidson have developed a secular form of meditation calling for an approach that, it turns out, is similar to the one described in the Bible: practicing sympathy and compassion toward a loved one, then extending it to a person you don’t know, and finally to an enemy. Davidson calls it “compassion meditation” and has studied its long-term effects on brain activity—measured in increased empathy or the healing of some forms of mental illness—using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

His findings? Compassion meditation does make it easier for people to empathize while also increasing optimism; it produces changes in brain activity that suggest an increase in the capacity to feel another’s joy as well as sadness, an increase in the capacity for altruism, and a decrease in the kind of personal distress that can lead to depression and get in the way of helping others. Moreover, this kind of thinking seems to bring about enduring changes in the brain’s structure: “It strengthens connections between the prefrontal cortex and other brain regions important for empathy.”

This is also what Siegel and Bryson describe: a well-integrated upstairs brain that incorporates good decision-making, self-control, self-understanding and empathy is vitally important for developing a strong sense of morality, “not only right and wrong, but also what is for the greater good beyond their own individual needs.” If these components sound familiar, it’s because they are an echo of Guerra and Bradshaw’s five core competencies for child development, the first four of which are fundamental to developing the fifth, a moral system of belief.

Parents who intentionally cultivate these in their children do them a favor that may pay out in a higher-than-average level of mental health. In his 2010 book Mindsight, Siegel writes about a level of mental health in which we become aware that we are “part of a much larger whole.” Pointing to research on happiness and wisdom, he says “this sense of interconnection seems to be at the heart of living a life of meaning and purpose.”

The understanding that we are part of a much larger whole is part of a transcendent belief system (such as a belief in God that engenders an enduring sense of purpose and overarching meaning in life), and researchers have long studied the benefits of such beliefs. Family-resilience consultant Froma Walsh contends that transcendent beliefs are an important key to psychological resilience because they “offer clarity about our lives and solace in distress; they render unexpected events less threatening and foster acceptance of situations that cannot be changed.” A moral system of belief that includes transcendent beliefs can carry children—and indeed the entire family—through severe times of crisis: “Without this larger view, or moral compass,” says Walsh, “we are more vulnerable to hopelessness and despair.”

Walsh encourages fellow therapists to help families deal with crises by helping them dig deeply into their core values. Families should be encouraged to live in ways that are consistent with their beliefs because “congruence between religious and spiritual beliefs and practices yields a general sense of well-being and wholeness.”

Why does the need to connect to a greater whole touch us so deeply? Why are questions about the meaning of life and its moral significance so universal? Why do we have emotions of awe and wonder and the intuition that there is something larger than ourselves? Gopnik concedes that scientists don’t have the answers to such questions. But these intuitions are real, she says—as real as our impulses for law and love. All are known to be part of a healthy, moral system of belief. And even though these intuitions aren’t complete, the brain’s inborn capacity to change and grow gives parents the opportunity to help children build on them as they develop the skills they need to meet their potential.

How To Raise Moral For Child – Part 3

IMPRINTING A MORAL IDENTITY

Many parenting approaches focus on enforcing moral behaviors simply by rewarding children for keeping rules and punishing them when rules are broken. This may seem to work with some children in the short term, at least when someone is watching and there is a clear and present threat of punishment. But a child whose moral behavior is only externally enforced doesn’t have the chance to develop the moral identity necessary to face a lifetime of challenges. Possessing the mere ability to follow rules is not the hallmark of a moral identity.

This doesn’t diminish the importance of rules, however. Rules are necessary for society to function, and they are an important part of moral reasoning: they give us shortcuts for moral decisions that are made frequently and help us coordinate decisions with others. Three-year-olds can understand and follow rules, and even very young babies already have the groundwork for rule-following in the ability to imitate. Very young children can also distinguish between intentional rule-breaking and accidental rule-breaking, and rules help them control specific choices that extend the basic universal moral principles discussed earlier, such as issues of harm, fairness and responsibility.

But laying down rules isn’t where teaching morality ends. Without the ability to extend empathy, there is no moral identity; both law and love are intertwined in a healthy moral system of belief. This is as true for parents in their teaching role as it is for their children as they learn how to behave. As parents, we can choose to teach the rules in ways that make it clear we love our children, or in ways that provoke resentment and anger. What children need is balanced parental guidance that includes love and compassion, mercy and patience.

Cornell University’s Kenneth Barish offers parents insight into how to go about reinforcing children’s intrinsic motivation to do good—to take on a moral system of belief. Like Haidt and Joseph, Barish points to decades of research leading to the conclusion that “moral development in childhood depends less on a child’s fear of punishment and far more on a ‘good socializing relationship’—a parent-child relationship characterized by secure attachment, parental warmth, and responsiveness to children’s needs.”

Barish cites studies showing that internalizing morality and prosocial behavior depends not only on “shared positive feelings between parents and children and a mother’s use of emotion language in conversation with her child” but on “frequent references to other people’s feelings.” Making and talking about mistakes does help children learn, but there are equally powerful potential lessons in success. Look for the moments when your child is doing something right, and encourage him or her by pointing it out. It may seem counterintuitive, but positive reinforcement really does have a more lasting effect than punishment when it comes to changing behavior.

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson refer to similar strategies in their 2011 book The Whole-Brain Child. They explain that developing a healthy moral system of belief requires integration of the different functions of the brain, including what they call the “upstairs brain” (the areas responsible for logic, reason and control) and the “downstairs brain” (the areas responsible for reacting quickly to process and express emotions).

Siegel and Bryson, like Barish, underscore the importance of warm, positive interactions as well as frequent conversations about how thoughts, behaviors and reactions are related. “Raise questions regarding morals and ethics as often as possible in normal, everyday situations,” they advise parents. “Offer hypothetical situations, which kids often love: Would it be OK to run a red light if there was an emergency? If a bully was picking on someone at school and there were no adults around, what would you do?” Their point is for parents to give children guided practice in thinking about the connection between their decisions, their behavior and the consequences, especially when it comes to applying rules within the framework of empathy and compassion. “Engage, don’t enrage,” is a helpful mantra for parents (an echo of the biblical directive, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger”). The moral principles children pick up this way will have a lasting influence on their moral identity, because they rest on the foundation of children’s love for their parents as well as their need for approval and their concern for the feelings of others.

Gopnik’s research confirms this. Empathy, she points out, is rooted in attachment and in the interpersonal contact we have with our early caretakers. As parents interact face-to-face with their infants, soothing them and responding to their needs, they are modeling the very first “morality” their child sees in the world. Parents smile at their babies, and babies smile back; research shows that even the act of smiling can go a long way toward making us feel happy. By imitating our expressions, babies learn about emotions and eventually also about desires, intentions and goals. Imitation is not only a signal that the capacity for empathy is likely innate but also a tool for extending empathy and building on it. “This intimate care is a model for moral concern at its most profound,” Gopnik remarks. “It is no coincidence that so many of the great moral teachers talk about love.”

Of course, imitation has its downside. Seeing love inspires love, but the same goes for negative emotions: aggressive and angry parents who pick at every failing trigger reactive aggression in children. Parents who model empathy are far more likely to see moral behavior in their children than parents who habitually resort to harsh physical punishment, scolding and criticizing. Kindness, empathy and consistent positive reinforcement are the most powerful tools for promoting moral conscience in children.

How To Raise Moral For Child – Part 2

THE BACK STORY

It’s important to understand from the outset that some long-standing theories about how children develop moral thinking are being challenged. Mid-20th-century Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget believed that, until adolescence, children were essentially amoral and that their ideas of good and bad were almost wholly dependent on reward and punishment. Their ability to conform was said to be based on the selfish desire to avoid punishment or achieve a reward. Other theorists have argued that a “universal moral grammar” is innate and affects our thinking from birth. New research is suggesting that the truth lies somewhere between these two opposing views.

“Piaget thought that children didn’t have genuine moral knowledge because he thought that they couldn’t take the perspective of others, infer intentions, and follow abstract rules,” writes Gopnik. “Modern science shows that this just isn’t true. Literally from the time they’re born children are empathic. They identify with other people and recognize that their own feelings are shared by others. In fact, they literally take on the feelings of others.” However, she cautions, this does not mean they are hardwired with an unchanging “moral grammar.”

Instead, researchers now say we are born with a general capacity to tell the difference between good and bad, and with somewhat of a preference for good over bad. This is offset to some degree by our instinct for vengeful anger and our tendency to view our own social groups as “good” in comparison to others. But fortunately we are also born with the capacity both to change and grow in the way we make moral judgments and to apply rules, for example, that help us extend empathy beyond our natural inclinations. Boiled down to its essence, current research indicates that there are two prongs to our innate faculty for moral thinking: the capacity for empathy coupled with the predisposition to understand and follow rules. Gopnik describes these origins of morality as “love and law.”

Although brain scientists might use slightly different terminology to describe innate intuitions regarding love and law, they generally agree on the broad categories. According to Guerra and Bradshaw, they would include ideas about harm, fairness, integrity and responsibility. Jonathan Haidt and Craig Joseph add “respect for authority” and “purity” to their list, with purity centering on the “regulation of eating and sexuality.” In other words, they say we have an innate tendency to embrace certain virtues of cleanliness and chastity while avoiding disgusting or taboo behaviors such as cannibalism or incest.

Haidt and Joseph also point to a second level of morality, which they call “virtues”—socially reinforced aspects of moral reasoning that need to be learned. For instance, the virtues of kindness and compassion would be the learned application of the innate moral intuition related to harm or suffering. Virtues, as well as various social rules, are typically learned through the example set by a child’s guides and caretakers—usually the parents.

“Often,” write Haidt and Joseph, “these examples come from the child’s everyday experience of construing, responding, and getting feedback, but they also come from the stories that permeate the culture.” Of course, passing down moral stories isn’t enough. Children need practice in applying their principles in real life. As they learn to exercise empathy and follow the rules, their daily experience—especially the positive feedback they get from those they admire—leaves an emotional imprint that affects how central their values become to their sense of self. This builds their moral identity, perhaps the most important aspect of children’s development. Guerra and Bradshaw write that “moral identity may be the cement that binds moral thinking to moral action.” What they mean is that if a moral belief system isn’t deeply embedded in the way we see ourselves, we aren’t likely to practice its values.

Raise Your Confidence

Is the lack of confidence around women holding you back in pursuing the woman of your dreams? You are not alone, many men have this problem. They get tense, anxious and feel insecure in front of the woman they adore. If this keeps on happening to you, you won’t be able to act the way you want and you will appear unattractive to most women. Confidence is a trait that women admire most and raising self-confidence around women is necessary if you want to succeed in dating women.

How to raise self-confidence around women?

Know that most people lack self-confidence. Your lack of confidence shouldn’t be an excuse for not approaching the woman you like. You have to know that it is normal for people to feel unsure, uncomfortable or shy in front of another person especially if this person is someone you like so you do not have to feel less of a person for feeling less confident. Who knows, the person that you are afraid to approach might be as shy as you are. In raising self-confidence around women you have to muster your courage and conquer your fears.

Dress like a confident man. In everything we do we have to set the mood to be able to feel it and get in action. We get into the mood of sleeping if we are in our sleeping clothes, we wear school uniforms or working clothes to get into the mood of going to school or working. It is the same in raising confidence around women, you have to wear a confident persona to get into the mood and one way of accomplishing that is to dress well and appear confident. Wear something stylish and classy but be sure you are comfortable and confident pulling that off. Groom yourself from head to toe. Put attention to your hairstyle and even to your shoes. Trim your facial hair including the hair in your nose and cut your fingernails to appear clean and fresh. Remember that grooming yourself doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune. There are ways to look great on a budget.

Believe in yourself. Lack of confidence stems from not believing in yourself and in raising confidence around women, you have to change your mindset. The way we think affects our behavior. If you do not believe in yourself, it shows in your action. If you will start to believe more in yourself, you will start to act more confident. This is easily said than done but you have to start changing your mindset if you want to raise self-confidence around women. If you will start now and will keep on doing it, you will eventually become better and will naturally act confident around women. Believe that you are interesting and likeable and it will show in your actions. Once you start believing in yourself, women will find you more interesting and attractive.

Accept that rejection is a normal part of life. Fear of rejection is the major factor contributing to the lack of confidence of most men. They do not want to be rejected so they just stay away and failed to muster the confidence to approach the women they find attractive. Accept that rejection is a normal part of life and dating or approaching women is not an exception. Almost everybody gets rejected but those who succeeded are those who refused to give up. In raising confidence around women, you have to change your outlook about rejection. Think that in every rejection, you get one step closer to meeting “the one” for you.

Practice, practice and practice. Self-consciousness around women can prevent you from acting confident around them but if you will expose yourself to socialize more with women, this self-consciousness will be reduced if not eliminated. You probably already know the common saying that constant practice makes it perfect and you probably have done that on some of the things that you want to learn in school or at work. In raising confidence around women, you also have to practice constantly to get the hang of it and to become more confident. Practice being around women more and socialize with them more. Practice having conversations with your women friends so that when the time comes that you have to face the woman you are attracted to, you will not be too overwhelmed.

Once you’ve learned to be confident around women or in front of people in general, it will bring positive changes in your life especially in your social or dating life.

Thing’s You Should Consider When Engaged

Whatever your views on engagement and marriage may be, the fact remains that getting engaged is an incredibly special and defining moment in most people’s lives. To most, it symbolises a step to the next level, a proof of both commitment and love, which explains why it is held in such high regard by society as a whole.

However, in their desire to find true love and have their own fairytale ending, couples can often neglect to take some important aspects into consideration when getting engaged. It is not enough simply to scrimp and save and buy your significant other a gaudy stone; there is a whole future to look forward to, in which certain aspects of living together will have to be addressed.

Financial Considerations

At the risk of sounding like a wet rag, financial considerations should be at the top of any young couple’s list of issues to address when getting engaged. Unless at least one half of the couple is able to provide for themselves and their significant other, taking the next step is an extremely tricky proposition. Ideally, both should be financially independent at the time the engagement. More often than not, couples rush into engagement, marriage and a life together, only for their story to have a less than happy ending, an outcome which could be easily avoided with a bit of forward thinking.

Compare Life Goals

A couple where both elements are mismatched in terms of ambitions, preferences and life goals can work, especially if the two different sets of priorities complement one another. However, if the couple disagree on a few fundamentals which will affect life together, it may be better to delay getting engaged. For instance, if one of the halves wants to have children and the other does not, this could quickly lead to repeated spats, as could a situation where one member of the couple is career-oriented above all else, while the other wants to start a family. If the relationship is going well, taking a moment to make absolutely sure both members are on the same page is not the worst thing in the world and can avoid unpleasant moments later on.

There are, of course, many other, smaller considerations to bear in mind when deciding whether or not a life together is viable, but if these two broader points are given some thought and agreed upon, there is no reason for the couple not to be happy together.